The Moment You Stop Shrinking, Everything Changes

Have you ever caught yourself shrinking — not because someone silenced you, but because you silenced yourself?

“I didn’t realise how much I was hiding until the day I tried to use my voice.”

Those words echo through so many of our experiences.

There’s a moment in life where you suddenly see the gap between who you are… and how small you’ve been playing.

A moment where you realise you’ve been holding back your ideas, your strength, your presence — not because you lacked value, but because somewhere along the line, shrinking felt safer than standing tall.

A Story Many of Us Know Too Well

A young woman once told me something that felt painfully familiar.

She said:

“I was sitting in the meeting, listening to everyone speak. I had the solution. I had the clarity.

But something in me froze. I kept telling myself, ‘Don’t say it… what if you sound silly? What if they look at you funny?’

And just like that, the moment passed.”

She didn’t stay quiet because others dismissed her.

She stayed quiet because she dismissed herself first.

And later that evening, she felt it — that sinking feeling of, “I should have spoken. I had something to give.”

But here’s the truth — and maybe you need to hear this too:

Your voice isn’t waiting for permission from the room.

It’s waiting for permission from you.

Why We Shrink (Even When We Know Better)

Shrinking isn’t always loud.

Sometimes it’s subtle:

• downplaying your strengths

• overthinking your contribution

• waiting for someone else to speak first

• holding back your opinion

• trying not to “take up too much space”

• blending into the background to avoid being noticed

  
  

And we do it in every area — at work, in relationships, in social settings, even at home.

But shrinking comes at a cost.

When you dim your voice, you dim your presence.

When you dim your presence, you dim your potential.

And the world misses the brilliance you’ve been carrying quietly for years.

The Shift: From Invisibility to Visibility

Something powerful happens the moment you stop shrinking:

You realise you were never “too much.

”You were simply never fully expressed.

You start stepping into rooms with quiet strength.

You speak without rehearsing your worth.

You stop second-guessing every thought.

You allow people to see the real you — confident, capable, growing.

And the very things you used to apologise for?

They become the things that make you stand out.

Visibility is not about being loud.

Visibility is about being present.

Being clear.

Being you.

So how do you stop shrinking?

Start gently.

Pause and ask yourself:

• Where have I been holding back?

• What part of me have I been hiding?

• What would happen if I simply showed up as me?

  
  

Then take one courageous step — speak in the moment instead of after.

Share the idea you normally swallow.

Say “I think…”

Say “I believe…”

Say “This matters…”

Each step reinforces a truth your heart has needed:

You are allowed to be seen.

You are allowed to take up space.

You are allowed to use your voice.

Reflection Question

Where have you been shrinking in this season — and what is one way you can show up differently this week?

Prayer

If you pray:

“God, strengthen my voice in this season. Help me step out of fear, out of hiding, and out of shrinking.

Give me the courage to stand, speak, show up, and be fully who You created me to be.”

Confidence Mantra

I no longer shrink. I rise, I speak, I show up, and I am seen.

If this message spoke to you and you’re ready to stop shrinking — personally and professionally — I’d love to walk this journey with you.

Through my RISE coaching approach, I help women and young adults rediscover their identity, strengthen their confidence, and step boldly into visibility.

➡️ Connect with me — your voice matters more than you know.

Best wishes

Adebola

I. Arise & Shine | iarisenshine.com

Coaching for Identity • Purpose • Resilience • Confidence

📩 info@iarisenshine.com | 📸 @arisenshinecoaching